he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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