I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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