Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
