I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Send help, water and tortillas.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
