is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
