Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
