Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
