I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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