Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
