Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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