Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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