I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
