Sry I called you an 8
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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