Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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