is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
