HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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