people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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