just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
