Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
