I cockslap morals
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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