She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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