Where is the hickey?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
