Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There are leaves in my underwear?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
