So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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