I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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