It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
