I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
ok first of all what the fuck
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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