Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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