I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
