i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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