proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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