She's JV to your varsity
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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