I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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