have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Randomize
