i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
