I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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