I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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