he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
