its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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