I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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