Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize