is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
