if you like me you must not know who I am
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
