Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
