Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
