We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
