the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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