I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
