TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
vagina is talking i cant
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
3 2 1 whiskey
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
