Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
