i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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