I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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