I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
