haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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