it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry about my life...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
