the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
