I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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