You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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