I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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