No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
